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Tea Parties are something that every little girl longs to have as she starts out on her journey into becoming a lady. A tea party can be thought of as a ceremonial right of passage into womanhood. It’s a manner in which a little lady can embrace the fullness of her femininity.
What constitutes a tea party? A tea party is simply that you serve tea and wear a crisp organza dress while expecting to fully enjoy the finest social occasion on earth. A tea party is sipping and chatting about how lovely it all is. A tea party is being with friends who love doing the same. When one is invited to a tea party, it means that you are special. To decline is never an option. You would miss out on tea and cakes, conversation, and fun with your friends or dolls. Who wouldn’t just love to accept an invitation to a tea? How very beautiful it is to sit at the table set with the finest little china cups, saucers and teapots, along with dishes brimming with tiny sandwiches, teacakes and jam? I can see and hear it all now..the placing of the linen napkin on your lap, the sound of the thinnest ivory porcelain being set on a saucer, silver spoons, and the scents of hot exotic teas. These are all part of a ceremony that gives us cause to celebrate our girlhood or womanhood.
Whether magnificent or simple, a tea party can be held inside, outside under a tree, or even on the beach. Tea parties can happen during any part of the day or evening. My most memorable tea parties have taken place under a full moon on a harvest field, or on the beach to watch the first glimmer of sun peek over a wave. No matter where it is held, it’s always exciting to be with friends who take pleasure in being with you. When it is time for tea all that really matters is that you stop and enter into those enchanted few moments. It’s during this little moment of extravagance that you know that you are the most special ladies on earth. You luxuriate in the presence of each other’s company while partaking of the finest indulgences set before you.
As a little girl gracefully grows up, she will notice that her teapots grow along with her. My first teapot held about 5 thimbles full of Windsor tea. It was little, but at the time, it seemed as large as my mother’s teapot. Some of my teapots belonged to my great- grandmother when she was a girl. They were passed on to her daughter, then to my Aunt and finally, they came to me when I turned five. Some of them are almost 200 years old, but they still pour tea perfectly.
Now, many years later, I have my own favorite china tea pot. The minute I saw her in the store, I had to have her. She’s very squatty, designed to pour perfectly, holds about eight cups and has a rosebud on the lid. She came from Romania years ago. Fortunately, she’s never been cracked or chipped and rarely drips or spills one drop of tea onto the linen. She’s held hundreds of pots of tea for me. She’s like an old friend who has heard allot of laughter, many stories, plans, dreams, and even seen my tears. Best of all, she can keep a secret.
The first English Tea happened many centuries ago by mistake.
It was late in the afternoon, but well before dinner, and the young Queen was becoming faint from hunger. One of her handmaidens brought her a scone and some tea to revive her. Since that afternoon, it has become fashionable to have tea and cakes late in the day. It also became the time when noble ladies in waiting were allowed to speak to the queen about stories they had heard of handsome gallant heroes. I’m sure there was much laughter and gossip around tea that afternoon. A girl’s soul longs to be in relationship around tea and cakes! Tea is an occasion for talking, laughing, crying and sharing.
Wanting to have a tea party comes naturally to a little girl; it’s in her DNA.
Tea Parties are the perfect indulgence for impeccable social graces. It’s a time when girls can pretend to be grown up and entertain their friends. They should not have a care in the world, and most importantly, it should be indulged in often. This right of passage takes place when one is about two or three, and it opens the door of enchantment until old age.
Perhaps this tradition comes from centuries of tea parties. Maybe thousands of years ago, this lovely ritual took place next to a fire where women cooked and children watched and played. Imagine the boiling water being poured over the tea leaves, while stories, were told over and over again. Men were probably hunting, and the women were discussing, singing, chatting and giving guidance, advice and opinions. This is where friendships began and relationships flourished.
It’s a long and cherished tradition. It’s something we all long for and need.
In the time it takes to have a cup of tea with a friend, there is the possibility that we could enter into new insights, new pathways of thought, new inspirations, or maybe turn toward a new destiny! Being in a relationship, is not only gratifying and enriching, it’s life changing. I wonder how many revelations, inventions, or lives were saved, by the gentle and gracious conversations over a cup of tea. Let’s not forget that memorable tea-party in Boston in 1773. It started a revolution!
From the Empress Dowager to Queen Elizabeth, this ceremony has spanned the ages, and it has always brought pleasure and contentment for women or little girls. It’s an occasion to exhibit our cultural social behaviors, while inwardly a woman’s spirit rejoices in her own uniqueness.
If there is one thing I want to encourage my daughter to experience, it is how to have a tea party with her friends--to stop and take a few minutes each day, to reflect and enjoy a celebration in honor of her journey into womanhood.
Written by Heather Smith Labbe
Published in The Cape Cod Chronicle Aug 2006
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